You Were, You Are, You Will Always Be...

A Quartet for Carole from your loving husband

 

I

STAY

Marking the 10th Anniversary of Our Love – October 29, 1986

 

“Stay,” she whispered

In a willing ear.

“Stay tonight.”

He stayed ten years.

 

What a night that was . . .

Bodies clutching, grabbing, holding, squeezing,

Juices joined in sweet desire.

Hearts pounding,

Thighs locking,

Hips pumping,

Two souls joined in passion’s fire.

​

What a night that was . . .

He and she merged into one.

Eternal love had just begun.

 

And what a decade it has been . . .

Growing, groping, loving,

Hoping it would never end.

Not always agreeing,

But always being

Each other’s best friend.

 

Ten years of nights,

Ten years of days

Their love expressed

A thousand ways.

 

They’ve shared the moon,

Possessed the sun,

Recoupled when each day was done.

 

Through ups and downs,

Through highs and lows,

Their love, their passion

Only grows.

 

How long to find each other,

How fast the years have flown.

How short their time together,

How much their love has grown.

 

Still that light of love surrounds them,

Still the juices churn,

Still he longs to feel her close,

Still the passions burn.

 

Ever cherished, heart and soul,

Ever treasured, ever sweet.

Still his heart pounds with arousal,

Still he throbs when bodies meet.

 

Soulmates through eternity,

Lovers to the end of time.

Needing one another always,

Each day, each night

A joy sublime.

 

“Stay,” she whispered

In a willing ear.

“Stay tonight.”

He stayed ten years.

 

And I will be with you,

Needing, caring, loving, sharing

Forever and ever.

 

 

II

STAY I ALWAYS WILL

Marking the 25th Anniversary of Our Love – October 29, 2001

 

“Stay,” you said.

A single word

That changed my life forever.

A syllable, a simple verb

That set my heart aquiver

 

What’s in a word?

Safety.  Warmth.  Love.  Desire.

A syllable, a simple verb

That set my soul afire.

 

My lips buried in your neck,

Your arms squeezing tight.

Passions burning, bodies churning,

Through that magic night.

 

Stay I did and stay I will,

Through times both bad and good.

Golf and shopping,

Cash flow stopping,

This love has all withstood.

 

A quarter of a century,

Only a beginning.

If Forever was a baseball game,

This would be one inning.

 

Seasons change, and people too,

But our love is eternal.

Just one volume written now

In a timeless journal.

 

“Stay,” you said, and stay I did.

Stay I always will.

I loved you then,

I love you now.

A love that’s growing.  Still.

 

 

III

Waves of GRIEF

Three Months After Losing Carole

September 24, 2023

 

Does a hole in the heart

Ever heal?

Or is this how I’m destined

To feel?

 

My heart is breaking.

My hands are shaking.

I can’t eat.

I can’t think.

I need to sleep.

But can’t get even a wink.

So I stare at TV and I drink.

 

What am I watching?

What’s it about?

Who cares?  I pass out.

I’ve escaped the hurt,

I’ve found a way,

But snooze only in spurts

And then yawn all day.

 

I find I can read,

But I can’t write!

Memory deserts me.

My focus is gone.

Food nauseates me.

I want to move on!

 

But do I?  Do I really?

 

Like move on to what?

I once knew what I wanted,

But it’s like I forgot.

What could it be that I want to do

Without You?

 

Does a hole in the heart

Ever heal?

Or is this how I’m destined

To feel?

 

We did have 47 years.

We were luckier than most.

Hmm . . .

Quite a ride . . . Wasn’t it, Babe?

 

We had our ups and our downs,

Our ins and our outs,

Our magical moments,

And our yells and our shouts.

 

But even then,

At our moments of strife,

You were always much more

Than my wife.

You were then,

You are now,

You will always be

The Love of My Life.

 

So let’s talk again, my love.  Soon.

​

​

IV

RIVER OF GRIEF

One Year After Losing Carole

June 24, 2024

 

​

Finally . . .

The nausea, the tremors

Are gone.

The waves have subsided,

The waters have calmed.

 

I even get a little sleep.

To sleep, perchance to dream . . .

And then I wake.

I wake in a river!

Where does it take me?

Wherever it wants to.

Whenever that will be.

 

This river . . .

It meanders,

It twists, and it turns.

It rushes, then wanders.

It teaches.  I learn.

 

On occasion it floods

Then the waters recede

It sometimes moves slowly

But soon the flow speeds.

 

I float on its surface

And dive to its depths.

Down down I go

 

'Cause I need to know

What secrets it hides

Way down there below.

 

The deeper I dive,

The more that I learn

About it, about me,

About how I yearn

To see you on shore,

Watching and waving,

Alive once more!

 

But I know that this river

Is where I belong.

So this lonely old man

Just keeps rollin’ along.

 

The further it takes me

The clearer I see

How you still are with me

And will always be

 

However long this journey,

Whether lengthy or brief,

This is my river.

This River.  My River.

My River of Grief.

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