You Were, You Are, You Will Always Be...
A Quartet for Carole from your loving husband
I
STAY
Marking the 10th Anniversary of Our Love – October 29, 1986
“Stay,” she whispered
In a willing ear.
“Stay tonight.”
He stayed ten years.
What a night that was . . .
Bodies clutching, grabbing, holding, squeezing,
Juices joined in sweet desire.
Hearts pounding,
Thighs locking,
Hips pumping,
Two souls joined in passion’s fire.
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What a night that was . . .
He and she merged into one.
Eternal love had just begun.
And what a decade it has been . . .
Growing, groping, loving,
Hoping it would never end.
Not always agreeing,
But always being
Each other’s best friend.
Ten years of nights,
Ten years of days
Their love expressed
A thousand ways.
They’ve shared the moon,
Possessed the sun,
Recoupled when each day was done.
Through ups and downs,
Through highs and lows,
Their love, their passion
Only grows.
How long to find each other,
How fast the years have flown.
How short their time together,
How much their love has grown.
Still that light of love surrounds them,
Still the juices churn,
Still he longs to feel her close,
Still the passions burn.
Ever cherished, heart and soul,
Ever treasured, ever sweet.
Still his heart pounds with arousal,
Still he throbs when bodies meet.
Soulmates through eternity,
Lovers to the end of time.
Needing one another always,
Each day, each night
A joy sublime.
“Stay,” she whispered
In a willing ear.
“Stay tonight.”
He stayed ten years.
And I will be with you,
Needing, caring, loving, sharing
Forever and ever.
II
STAY I ALWAYS WILL
Marking the 25th Anniversary of Our Love – October 29, 2001
“Stay,” you said.
A single word
That changed my life forever.
A syllable, a simple verb
That set my heart aquiver
What’s in a word?
Safety. Warmth. Love. Desire.
A syllable, a simple verb
That set my soul afire.
My lips buried in your neck,
Your arms squeezing tight.
Passions burning, bodies churning,
Through that magic night.
Stay I did and stay I will,
Through times both bad and good.
Golf and shopping,
Cash flow stopping,
This love has all withstood.
A quarter of a century,
Only a beginning.
If Forever was a baseball game,
This would be one inning.
Seasons change, and people too,
But our love is eternal.
Just one volume written now
In a timeless journal.
“Stay,” you said, and stay I did.
Stay I always will.
I loved you then,
I love you now.
A love that’s growing. Still.
III
Waves of GRIEF
Three Months After Losing Carole
September 24, 2023
Does a hole in the heart
Ever heal?
Or is this how I’m destined
To feel?
My heart is breaking.
My hands are shaking.
I can’t eat.
I can’t think.
I need to sleep.
But can’t get even a wink.
So I stare at TV and I drink.
What am I watching?
What’s it about?
Who cares? I pass out.
I’ve escaped the hurt,
I’ve found a way,
But snooze only in spurts
And then yawn all day.
I find I can read,
But I can’t write!
Memory deserts me.
My focus is gone.
Food nauseates me.
I want to move on!
But do I? Do I really?
Like move on to what?
I once knew what I wanted,
But it’s like I forgot.
What could it be that I want to do
Without You?
Does a hole in the heart
Ever heal?
Or is this how I’m destined
To feel?
We did have 47 years.
We were luckier than most.
Hmm . . .
Quite a ride . . . Wasn’t it, Babe?
We had our ups and our downs,
Our ins and our outs,
Our magical moments,
And our yells and our shouts.
But even then,
At our moments of strife,
You were always much more
Than my wife.
You were then,
You are now,
You will always be
The Love of My Life.
So let’s talk again, my love. Soon.
​
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IV
RIVER OF GRIEF
One Year After Losing Carole
June 24, 2024
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Finally . . .
The nausea, the tremors
Are gone.
The waves have subsided,
The waters have calmed.
I even get a little sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream . . .
And then I wake.
I wake in a river!
Where does it take me?
Wherever it wants to.
Whenever that will be.
This river . . .
It meanders,
It twists, and it turns.
It rushes, then wanders.
It teaches. I learn.
On occasion it floods
Then the waters recede
It sometimes moves slowly
But soon the flow speeds.
I float on its surface
And dive to its depths.
Down down I go
'Cause I need to know
What secrets it hides
Way down there below.
The deeper I dive,
The more that I learn
About it, about me,
About how I yearn
To see you on shore,
Watching and waving,
Alive once more!
But I know that this river
Is where I belong.
So this lonely old man
Just keeps rollin’ along.
The further it takes me
The clearer I see
How you still are with me
And will always be
However long this journey,
Whether lengthy or brief,
This is my river.
This River. My River.
My River of Grief.
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